#title Enough! Dance! #author Julian Langer #LISTtitle Enough! Dance! #date 18/7/24 #source https://ecorevoltblog.wordpress.com/2024/07/18/enough-dance/ #lang en #pubdate 2024-08-02T03:16:59.407Z #topics metaphysical anarchy, ontological anarchy, primal anarchy, absurdity, collapse, heroism, religion, philosophy, language, dance, music, writing, Nietzsche, Camus, Goldman, Fondane, Bespaloff, Turgenev, Shestov, health, cancer, poetry *** 1 The ghost of Turgenev crying “Enough!” Is in my ears My activities are glorious While several seasons Fighting disease Living closely with personal existential uncertainty My body is marked There is a thin line Across my left eyelid A scar from where it was removed I am tired of this There is a book Being written The first section poems like this I wonder if it’s my last I don’t know *** 2 All things are possible So say Shestov and Fondane Yes, all things are possible Including the impossibility Of my writing another book after this Yes, all things are possible What is most possible though For all life It seems is impossibility So says the stories found in fossils Similar to what Camus affirmed at Tipasa I am surrendering nothing of myself Whilst ever learning with arduous patience how to live *** 3 I prefer Genesis to Exodus or Revelations Creation and preservation are more desirable to me than salvation and gnosis I don’t want to be resurrected Carrion reanimated by necromantic forces But to survive and become new, become different When Babel falls The totality collapses Confusion and diaspora are apparent Babel has, again, fallen for me And I find myself in the bewilderness *** 4 Fondanean heroism: to admit spiritual defeat and to take courage and persist regardless I playfully compare myself to Odysseus With every victory and seemingly easier terrain There are new challenges, fights and mountains And Sisyphus Returning to the existential uncertainty Of what might grow within me Is a very similar mountain *** 5 Look at this Athens and Jerusalem Jerusalem and Athens Have either really escaped Romanisation and empire? Camus favoured Athens Shestov Jerusalem I can nomadically wander into and between both Though neither feel like home And amidst this empire I feel to wander *** 6 I am alive This flesh and body Here is where wisdom resides And perhaps lingering disease What wisdom does a tumour reveal? What unspeakable mystical awe is to be found in bodily corruptions that threaten the habitats they reside within and cannot survive without? The awe is one of awfulness Of violences that language cannot articulate Civilisation and its diseases *** 7 What madness, irrationality, absurdity and insanity it is To consider dance, Bespaloff’s freedom from history in l’instant, Goldman’s preference over revolution, Nietzsche’s means of not losing the day, A folk medicine practice, Embraced by many mystics, As cure for this disease And how wonderful it is If only to imagine Babel falling with a dance of the living *** 8 Turgenev’s ghost whispers “enough!” again Have I written enough Is dancing enough? What is possible and what impossibilities does possibility contain, if possiblity is irreducible and potentially infinite – an unspeakable and barely imaginable anarchy of creativity and freedom? The eternal return to the present and presence and overcoming and life-preservation and freedom/choice/respobsibility/anarchy I wonder what music there is to hear out in the world The ghost of Tom Waits singing Martha is in my ears I am going to festival and see folk, friends, loved ones I’ve not seen for years this weekend *** 9 I walk from my house to my car, About 100 yards, There is bird song Tchaikovsky is playing on the classical radio station when I turn my car on I prefer Chopin and Liszt I can listen to them on the train, Through my headphones Dead composers Somewhat reanimated Through necromantic technologies Sat at the train station The crows cawing is a welcome sound *** 10 Remembering the book I am writing Remembering Turgenev’s “enough!” Am I coming to an end with philosophy, Favouring poetry, stories, music and dance? Will this be my last book? The possibility of it being impossible for me to write another book of philosophy, Of it being no longer possible for me to try at speak the unspeakable as I’ve been speaking, Feels possible and uncertain Fondanean heroism is admitting spiritual defeat and continuing with courage regardless This defeat is not resignation or renunciation But rebellion and revolt, Which is life (Libertad’s affirmation) Metaphysical anarchy Speaking the unspeakable Impossibility is possible “Enough!” Dance!