#title Welcome to the Idiocene #author Max Cafard #SORTtopics poetry, time #date Fall / Winter 2014 #source Retrieved on December 11th, 2014 from http://www.fifthestate.org/archive/392-fallwinter-2014/welcome-idiocene/ #lang en #pubdate 2014-12-11T18:39:16 #notes Fifth Estate # 392, Fall/Winter 2014. Max Cafard, a lifelong inhabitant of the Island of New Orleans, is a surregionalist writer and pre-Ancientist philosopher. He is the author of The Surregionalist Manifesto and Other Writings, FLOOD BOOK, Surregional Explorations, and the forthcoming Lightning Storm Mind: PreAncientist Meditations. He edits the cyberjournal Psychic Swamp and is a member of Surrealists for Social Responsibility and the Deconstruction Workers Union of the IWW. It has been proposed that the present era of life on earth should be called the Anthropocene to reflect the human domination of our planet. However, an elegant, scientific-sounding term like anthropocene seems like a cop-out, a handy euphemism to hide exactly what kind of domination this is and what it’s doing to the planet. I propose that instead we call it the Idiocene, signifying the New Era of Idiots. Idiot comes from the Greek word “idiutns” meaning both an incompetent person and a private citizen. Idiocene is the one precisely appropriate name for an era that is suicidally stupid and ecocidally privatizing. Would you like a simple definition of the Idiocene? You might remember the old joke about a robber who comes up to somebody on the street, pulls out a gun and says: “Your money or your life!” The victim pauses and then says, “Can I have a moment to think it over?” That moment is the Idiocene. *** Welcome to the Idiocene Welcome to the Idiocene It’s the Obliviocene It’s the Distractocene It’s the DontWorryBeHappyocene It’s the ADHDocene It’s the SpacedOutocene It’s the Narcissocene It’s the WhichWayIsUpocene It’s the Amneseocene It’s the NoThereWhenYouGetThereocene It’s the BlahBlahBlahocene It’s the Idiocene Welcome to the Idiocene It’s the Comatosocene It’s the DruggedOutocene It’s the Wastedocene It’s the FiddleWithYourIphoneWhileTheWorldBurnsocene It’s the Shopoholocene It’s the SoUpI’mDownocene It’s the Dopocene It’s the Undeadocene It’s the Zonkedocene It’s the Crunkocene It’s the Idiocene Welcome to the Idiocene It’s the Assbackwardocene It’s the FoxToldMeIt’sNotTrueocene It’s the Moronocene It’s the Stupidocene It’s the DumbAssocene It’s the SingleDigitIQocene It’s the Imbecilocene It’s the OutToLunchocene It’s the Nincompoopocene It’s the Schlemielocene It’s the Idiocene Welcome to the Idiocene It’s the EndOfTheLineocene It’s the HotelTerminusocene It’s the Nightmareocene It’s the ChickensComeHomeToRoostocene It’s the Saw15ocene It’s the UpShitCreekoscene It’s the OMGocene It’s the DeadEndocene It’s the Suicidocene It’s the Collapsocene It’s the Idiocene Welcome to the Idiocene It’s the HumptyDumptocene It’s the Jonestownocene It’s the WalkingOffACliffocene It’s the SpringBreaksOverY’allocene It’s the BuiltOnAnIndianBurialGroundocene It’s the ThatsAllFolksocene It’s the EndOfSmileyFaceocene It’s the Extinctocene It’s the ItStinksocene It’s the DeadMeatocene It’s the Idiocene Welcome to the Idiocene It’s the KickTheBucketocene It’s the Croakocene It’s the SwanSongocene It’s the KillItIfItMovesocene It’s the LastGaspocene It’s the GooseIsCookedocene It’s the ZombiesInTheMallocene It’s the NightOfTheLivingDeadocene It’s the EndOfTheRopeocene It’s the BiteTheDustocene It’s the Idiocene Welcome to the Idiocene It’s the NoExitocene It’s the DeadEndocene It’s the Wastelandocene It’s the InTheToiletocene It’s the Screwedocene It’s the FuckedUpocene It’s the Trashedocene It’s the ShotToHellocene It’s the DeadDuckocene It’s the Kaputocene It’s the Idiocene Welcome to the Idiocene It’s the CheckOutocene It’s the ManBearPigWinsocene It’s the EverythingMageddonocene It’s the Apocalyptocene It’s the MadMaxocene It’s the ShitHitsTheFanocene It’s the Y2KForRealThisTimeocene It’s the WeAllGetDarwinAwardsocene It’s the MoneyTalksNatureWalksocene It’s the VeryBadSceneocene It’s the Idiocene Yes, folks. It’s the Idiocene Welcome to the Idiocene